The Perfect Comeback...

Discussion in 'Humour and Debate' started by Saffron, Apr 22, 2009.

  1. Saffron

    Saffron Forum Spice

    You know how.....in most situations, the perfect comeback line comes to you about 10 minutes too late....

    Occasionally, in my life, I have thought of a good line on the spot. And these moments are truly memorable.

    For example:
    When I was young, I was looking for some work, any work, in order to get off Unemployment Benefits, and I ended up getting this job at a factory making gaskets for car engines. So, the supervisor is taking me around on my first day, introducing me to people etc, and I'm determined to make a good impression.

    So, I get introduced to this guy, who is like the head of one section of the factory, and he goes "Oh. Your name is Cathy. Do you prefer to be called Cathy or Catherine?"

    And I say "I hate being called Catherine. Please. Call me Cathy"

    So he says: "OK. I'll call you Catherine then."

    So I smile and say: "OK. I'll call you f***wit" :razz:

    Do you think I made an impression? lol.

    Anyhoo, please share your best comeback lines...............
     
  2. *AJ*

    *AJ* New Member

    I think kids have the best come back lines. Every kids does their "whhhhy?" thing to everything you say/do at some point. Then you try to do it back to a child when they're concentrating hard just to show them how much of a pain they're being, this is usually what happens to me:

    *kid is painting*
    Me: What are you doing?
    Kid: Painting
    Me: Whyyyyy?
    Kid: Because this isn't a colouring pencil you know!

    I can't come back with anything and iirc, Jack Dee said the exact same thing during one of his sketches so it can't just be me.

    I was recently teaching my niece about numbers one less than 30, 40, 50, 60 etc. After thinking she'd grasped the concept of the idea I thought I'd test her on some number facts. I can't remember what I asked but when she replied I asked "why?" and she said "I don't know, I didn't make these numbers up did I??" She's only 5 but she has a point.
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2009
  3. Sorsie

    Sorsie New Member

    Best Comeback line is:

    So's your face :D
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. 2.0

    2.0 Super Moderator

    my favourite comeback, whenever appropriate:

    "i fail to see when that started to become my problem"

    I use it quite often in my line of work.
     
  5. Budden

    Budden Banned

    My husband and myself banter a lot with each other, in one of these moments i got the hump and called him four eyes,,,,, he came right back at me with ok four bellies, yes lol i have a stomach hehehe.
    Bless him.
     
  6. db1986

    db1986 Super Moderator

    We used to have this line that we said at school.. "I know you are but what am I?". It was mainly used to try and deflect name calling.

    I learnt a newer one since but it can be quite offensive.
     
  7. *AJ*

    *AJ* New Member

    Go on, spill it db before I tip you over. That's what spoiler tags are for :p Besides, this is H&D so it's allowed anyway.
     
  8. db1986

    db1986 Super Moderator

    Umm... OK... well, here it is.

    Spoiler doesn't work... highlight here --> "If you're looking for my comeback, it's all over your mum's face"

    Well, I did warn you :razz:
     
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2009
  9. *AJ*

    *AJ* New Member

    Gawd, yes you did warn me. Naughty deebee :p I had a feeling it was related to that sorta stuff. I've heard worse though. Sorsie's "So's your face" is comical but also childish so yeah, it makes me chuckle a bit.

    "you idiot"
    "So's your face"

    Ahh, the memories lol.
     
  10. Sorsie

    Sorsie New Member

    Lol. Ahah Db -_- :p that's a great one. Kinda. Lol. There's always ones about your mum and I always find them so bad it's funny. xD But yeah at first it was so's your mum, or something to do with your mum, but yeah Face is a lot nicer. :) :) And less other person offensive. :)
     
  11. Lisa479

    Lisa479 New Member

    My friends are on a "That's what she said" kick. Lmao.

    For instance, the other day we were playing cards and the table was incredibly huge..so I could never reach the cards when it was my turn! So I stupidly said "It's so big and long" (talking about the table of course ;) ) and I got back 5 "That's what she said"s at the same time.
    It sounds so ridiculous and immature, but it was pretty funny, not gonna lie...hahaha.

    P.s. Lmao DB.
     
  12. Sorsie

    Sorsie New Member

    Lol Oh yes. I forgot about that's what she said... xD Sometimes that one can be pretty hilariouuuuus :D ahah especially when it's like mumbled about a teacher etc. ;) :D
     
  13. Nyna

    Nyna New Member

    Lol my husband and I have a lot of these that we say to eachother constantly! Our favorite to say is "Your face". In fact we say it so much my 4 year old and 2 year old do it constantly now too!

    Normal dinner conversation

    Me to 4 yr old - "Garrett eat your green beans"
    Garrett (while taking a bite of green beans) - "Your face"
    Me - "YOUR face"
    Garrett - "Marshall's face!"
    Me - "Daddy's face!"
    Garrett and Marshall - "YEAH Daddy's face!"

    Lol It's fun!

    The other 1 I say a lot is "Your mom". So the kids will say something to me like "That was so cool." and i'll say "Your mom" to which they always reply "You ARE my mom!" Lol

    Others we use a lot are, "I'll show you (insert what was said)" and "I got your (insert what was said) right here!"
     
  14. db1986

    db1986 Super Moderator

    I think everyone so far has mentioned the word face. Anything to do with someone's face is an insult :razz:
     
  15. *AJ*

    *AJ* New Member

    I'm not here right now but cry me a river, build me a bridge and get over it :razz:

    Even though it's a joke I still feel mean lol *hugs db* - told you I was hopeless!
     
  16. Vik

    Vik New Member

    My niece is at the 'why?' stage right now. It drove us nuts over Easter, so one dinner time, the first time she asked 'why?' we all started chanting 'why?? why?? why?? why?? why?? why??' for ages to her. She found it hilarious, and then she pretended to look all angry, waved her little balled fists in the air and yelled in SUCH a grown-up voice:

    'I'll TELL you why!!!!'

    Perfect comeback because we were all too rolled up laughing to continue teasing her :p
     
  17. db1986

    db1986 Super Moderator

    Lol AJ :p

    Maybe you could use an obscure word when saying something back to them.
    Then again, they'll probably think you're a geek... or crazy.. or both :razz:
     
  18. *AJ*

    *AJ* New Member

    Oh db, I want you, no I need you...
    to get out my face :razz:
    This is fun lol
     
  19. Nyna

    Nyna New Member

    Your face is fun. =P
     
  20. Ches

    Ches Super Moderator

    My favourite comebacks at the moment are:

    Are you?
    I thought you were.
    Yes, you are.
    The end.

    In that order...

    Although I am now going to adopt DB's comeback, as that is damned awesome.
     

Share This Page