Tell us your best joke

Discussion in 'Humour and Debate' started by Sky, Jul 9, 2013.

  1. Sky

    Sky New Member

    I noticed there was only one thread here, and decided to make another.

    So, tell us your best joke! I'm in need of some LOLs too...
     
  2. db1986

    db1986 Super Moderator

    Well, if I'm honest my best joke, doesn't really belong here, even in Humour and Debate :razz:

    Here's one to start you all off.

    What do you call a deer with no eyes? What do you call a dead deer with no eyes?

    No idea. (No-eyed deer)








    Still no idea.
    * db1986 awaits better jokes
     
  3. TempusFugit

    TempusFugit <i>Forum Clock</i>

    ...what do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no.... ermm... better not go there :twisted:

    :embarrassed:


    How do you make a snooker table laugh?

    Put your hand in its pocket and tickle its balls :razz:
    :lol:
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. Novak

    Novak Active Member

    Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says, "Does this taste funny to you?".
     
  5. db1986

    db1986 Super Moderator

    Lol, I think we had a joke thread a little while back, which I shall link for continuity. Here it is. Although it's fine to start a new one, as the last one is 2 years old.

    Anyway, here's my joke given to me by my 8-year-old niece.

    Two muffins are baking in the oven.
    One turns around to the other and says,
    "Phew, it's hot in here."
    The other says,
    OMG, a talking muffin!
     
  6. TheBroncoFan

    TheBroncoFan New Member

    ok, here goes.

    I was wondering why the frisbee was growing, then it hit me...
     
  7. mollybean

    mollybean New Member

    First I'd like to say thank you to HappyHippo for helping me narrow it down, and a thank you to db for helping out with the spoilers!! :p

    1. Why was the elephant wearing a green hat?
    So he could walk across the pool table without being seen.

    2. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
    He pasta way.

    3. What's upside down and one hundred feet in the air?
    A dead centipede.

    4. A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender, a proton, gives him the drink and the neutron asks, "How much?" The bartender replies, "For you? No charge." The neutron says, "Are you sure?" and the bartender says, "I'm positive."
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2013
    3 people like this.
  8. Rood

    Rood Active Member

    The only jokes I seem to remember are lesbian ones and not entirely appropriate. Maybe I'll pass for now until I come across something better :razz:
     
  9. Rin

    Rin New Member

    How do i do da spoilers
     
  10. db1986

    db1986 Super Moderator

    All you need to do is wrap the punchline in the
    tag. For example:

    This sentence is not in a spoiler.

    [noparse]
    This sentence is in a spoiler.
    [/noparse]


    Typing the above purple text would generate this:

    This sentence is not in a spoiler.

    This sentence is in a spoiler.

    Alternatively, if you click the Go Advanced button from the Quick Reply menu you can highlight the text you wish to put in a spoiler and click the Spoiler button from the toolbar.

    Hope this helps :)
     
  11. Sky

    Sky New Member

    holy crap 200+ views wut happened
     
  12. db1986

    db1986 Super Moderator

    Don't forget that despite only members being able to post, these boards are viewable by guests, which still count towards the view count :)
     
  13. Capt_Sparrow

    Capt_Sparrow Active Member

    Barman: I've just thrown a Bond villain out of the pub!
    Bargirl: Javier Bardem?
    Barman: No, he can come back when he's sober.

    I love the science-y bar jokes, molly!

    Helium walks into a bar and orders a drink. Bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here."
    He doesn't react.

    Bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." A tachyon walks into a bar and orders a drink.
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2013
    1 person likes this.
  14. TrubblishONE

    TrubblishONE New Member

    God, being under pressure make it very hard to think of a joke... Now, I revided my joke like 10 time and hate it :embarrassed: I give up!
     
  15. TheQuestion

    TheQuestion New Member

    One of my favorite jokes (and I am going to try to do db1986's spoiler thing, so don't laugh at me if I fail!):

    What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

    Breathe, you idiot!
     
  16. Deadlock

    Deadlock Pacmonster

    What have The Sixth Sense and Titanic got in common?

    Icy. Dead. People.
     
  17. mom

    mom New Member

    “Yo mama so fat, she had a nice personality, but ate it.”
     
  18. iSnack2.0

    iSnack2.0 New Member

    I saw this one on YouTube. :smile:

    "Feminism - for Equality!"
     
    1 person likes this.
  19. Helinos_

    Helinos_ New Member

    Really only one tread.... Anyways

    A rabbit, a Jew, and a pony walks into a bar, and the Bar tender says "what is this some kind of joke?"
     

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