Joke of the Day

Discussion in 'Humour and Debate' started by gracie, Feb 28, 2007.

  1. Deadlock

    Deadlock Pacmonster

    I've had a crap day. Someone threw a prawn cocktail over me, and that was just for starters.
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. Ouch!

    Ouch! Banned

    I dunno? Any chance you can tell me tomorrow? ;p
     
    1 person likes this.
  3. 830

    830 Member

    What should you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle?

    Wipe it off and apologise.
     
    3 people like this.
  4. TempusFugit

    TempusFugit <i>Forum Clock</i>

    :lol: Great one 830 :razz:

    Hmm... don't know too many jokes :S


    Just spent ages waxing the car....

    Still not sure how it gets that hairy!
     
    1 person likes this.
  5. db1986

    db1986 Super Moderator

    I got this one from my nephew.

    Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

    It was stuck to the chicken's foot.
    He was laughing for ages :p
     
    1 person likes this.
  6. Ouch!

    Ouch! Banned

    That is so awful! Can't believe you posted it!
     
  7. 830

    830 Member

    I was watching Question Time last night in an episode where they allowed complex numbers on the show.

    I liked that episode because I found the arguments they had to be quite interesting.
     
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2011
  8. Ouch!

    Ouch! Banned

    Aaaaargh! :rolleyes: :cry:

    [​IMG]
     
  9. Ouch!

    Ouch! Banned

  10. Ouch!

    Ouch! Banned

    [​IMG]

    Hahaha! Cat fight!
     
  11. 2.0

    2.0 Super Moderator

    It was reported today that a certain politician was admitted to intensive care early yesterday due to a severe infection in an abscess on his hip, thus i would like to request everyone's prayers and positive thought for the health and well-being of the bacteria.



    Bump.
    COuldn't resist posting this. LOL
    [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlIrI80og8c[/YOUTUBE]
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlIrI80og8c
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2011
    3 people like this.
  12. Rood

    Rood Active Member

    Okay this is my favourite, I can't not post it.

    A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
     
    2 people like this.
  13. Beff

    Beff New Member

    What do you call a Mexican whose lost his car?
    Carlos. |D
     
  14. Ouch!

    Ouch! Banned

    Haha! I laughed at both those!
     
  15. Dagon

    Dagon New Member


    Shame on you. Where's your joke? :razz:

    Here's my contribution, though some may've already seen it:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgYhLIThTvk

    A bit lengthy before you get to the punchline, but it's worth it... trust me.
     
    1 person likes this.
  16. Ouch!

    Ouch! Banned

    Trust you?

    I wasted nearly 20 mins of my life which I will never get back!! :eek: :rolleyes: :cry: :twisted:


    A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

    His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

    The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

    Makes me chuckle!

    Prolly been posted before too!


    Two fish in a tank.

    One turns to the other and says “Do you know how to drive this?” :rolleyes:

    Owuch!! :disapprove: Painful!
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2011
  17. Dagon

    Dagon New Member

    lolcats chime in with their thoughts...

    On Dagon's submission:

    [​IMG]

    And on Ouch!:

    [​IMG]


    :razz:

    But on the subject of animal related jokes:

    My favorite has always been the one where the bear and the rabbit are both relieving themselves in the forest, to which upon arriving at the inevitable, the bear turns to the rabbit and queries, "Do you have trouble with s*** sticking to your fur?" The rabbit casually responds, "No, not at all. Why do you ask?" The bear then, without saying another word, proceeds to pick up the rabbit and wipe himself off...

    [​IMG]

    Moral of the story: It's not good to be a rabbit.
     
  18. Ouch!

    Ouch! Banned

    [​IMG]

    :lol:
     
  19. Dagon

    Dagon New Member

  20. Rood

    Rood Active Member

    A woman is in a coma. While washing her intimate parts, a nurse notices a slight pulse. She calls her husband, and explains to him "... so I have a theory that if such slight stimulation can give her a pulse, oral sex just may wake her up completely!" "Well okay, I'll try if it helps her" says the man.
    The nurses wait for him outside the room. All of a sudden, they hear the woman's pulse go flat, and rush in the room to see the man buttoning his pants. With a confused look on his face, he says "Yeah, I think I might have choked her."
     

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