Discussion in 'Humour and Debate' started by Jmac, Aug 9, 2010.


Are you afraid of commitments?

  1. Yes, I dislike them

  2. No, they do not bother me

  3. I cannot commit to either of these answers

  1. Jmac

    Jmac New Member

    Do you like them? Are you afraid of them? Lets just talk about commitments....

    I for one am terrified of commitments. I hate it hate hate it. I am not sure what it is, but when I am tied down to a certain option I just get really unsure if something else that is better or more fun will come up and I will stay regretting what I have chosen... as far as social life goes, this is fine as there is always multiple things going on, as far as dating life goes... it sure doesnt help out... with work though i am pretty able to be committed so i guess it doesnt really effect it.

    anyways, im not really sure what the point of this thread is, but i figured we could just talk about it... so go!
  2. storm

    storm Forum Tempest

    I like the third option - it made me lol. :)

    Committments... I'm finding it hard to commit to one answer for this! I guess that answers the question?


    I guess it really kind of depends on whether the committment is to myself or to someone else, and whether it's a short term committment or a long term one.

    When it's to myself, the consequences of not sticking to it aren't so great, and you can justify it to yourself, and no one will ever know anyway... but when there's someone else in the picture, there're spill over effects so it makes a committment just that much more of a burden to carry. Because now you have to justify breaking a committment to someone too. And that means they'll know you broke it. So then they won't trust you nearly as much, perhaps. Which all generally makes it harder.

    As for short/long term committments - short term ones are generally easier for me because (and I apologise in advance for using this word, but I'm doing a degree in business now and I can't help but think in biz-speak) the opportunity cost of sticking to it is lower. Whereas with long term committments the opportunity cost is higher, because there are soooo many more opportunities that I am missing because of this one singular commitment I made at one point.

    So I guess I'd say the ideal committment sums up as a short-term one to myself. And at the other end of the scale there's the long-term committment to someone else. Everything else is in between.
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2010
  3. Casta_Diva

    Casta_Diva New Member

    Cool thread, Jmac


    Some have been easy for me (like for instance, committing to be a parent or committing to be a student for the next bajillion years), but others are very difficult. I think I'm the opposite of storm, where long term commitments are easier for me than short term.

    In a long term commitment, for me anyway, there is room for maneuvering if something needs a slight shift...and as long as these commitments don't hinder my personal freedom in ways which would not be at all enjoyable, I'm fine to make them. The future scares me far less than the present...

    So for me, a short term commitment sometimes causes so much anxiety and uncertainty that I want to scream. It makes my social life difficult, I think...but even little things like being invited to an "Event" on Facebook makes me squirm...I don't know what to respond, so my responses to those are usually a resounding "maybe".

    As for my personal life....I'm okay at committing to myself, and good at committing to my son...but otherwise I think that I leave a little bit to be desired. I think it boils down to self esteem in many ways, or self-assuredness. It's a tough question....and I can't commit to my answer!

    I will probably edit this post 100 times too....
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2010
  4. 2.0

    2.0 Super Moderator

    easiest commitment i've ever made was getting married. Lousiest was my cellphone contract. I am not one to like commitment but i do tend to avoid them if i can.
  5. Rood

    Rood Active Member

    I agree with a lot of what Storm said, also due to studying business myself ;)

    I have not had a lot of good experience with committments, I've had some pretty large ones involving me broke which I can't get over so easily.

    However I see committments as a challenge to prove oneself's determination and perseverance because committments aren't just a walk in the park.

    Short term committments are great because they usually involve less pressure (as I have found) and because they are short term, your loss is less if you find out you may have picked the wrong committment than if it were long term. I also think short term committments are a great way to build up one's courage to tackle long term committments.

    That being said, self-set committments are easier to deal with because you're in control and you are able to adjust the committment to better suit your situation. I feel that being involved in other's long term committments begs a great deal of responsibility and can therefore be quite scary but I think that as long as you live in the moment and can find a purpose or learn from this committment you will benefit from it, even if it may be the wrong committment.

    I think it is case of slowly introducing yourself to committments and building up their length gradually to a point where you feel comfortable with them, and are ready to accept their challenge :)
  6. db1986

    db1986 Super Moderator

    I love the wording of the third option :biggrin:

    In life there are so many different types of commitment, short-term and long-term. I think it depends on how much you like a particular event or situation, or how you feel you would be suited to such an event. Both of which require some thought before actually committing to them.

    Some people can be slightly afraid of major commitments such as getting married, moving house and finding a career, as these define a major period of your life.

    As for me, personally I prefer short-term commitments because I don't like many big changes in my life :)

    Edit: After reading the above posts has anyone else wondered about the number of t's in the words commitment, committed, committing etc?
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2010
  7. jenni939706

    jenni939706 Twirl Princess

    ahh. i didnt realize i'd be the only one to click the second option....i cant really..explain why im not afraid of commitments. im just not..i like them in a way XD
  8. Capt_Sparrow

    Capt_Sparrow Active Member

    Committee has 3 pairs of double letters in it :p

    I find myself to be a commitment-phobe, usually waiting until the last possible minute before deciding on something (I call it maximising the time available :p). Rather than dividing into short- and long-term commitments necessarily, I look at them as those that exclude few other options and those that exclude many other options. So, I find it far easier to commit to one of the former (even if it is a long-term commitment) than one which would stop me from doing a lot of other things. Of course, sometimes I do have to commit to something which falls in the second category, in which case I spend aaaaages thinking about it...

    I think this subject also ties in with decision/indecision because when you commit to something, you're basically saying that this is the best decision.
  9. HappyHippo

    HappyHippo Active Member

    I would say I'm overall not afraid of commitments, but I think that's because the decisions I've had to make in my life so far have never really been too serious or permanent. Even when something is extremely decisive, I've always known there's a way to make a change...and I trust myself to know what's best for me, even if I need a little guidance to come to that decision. At the same time, I'm afraid of certain commitment more so because I know I can be unreliable, and often avoid confrontation rather than facing issues head on. Commitments are a tricky issue no doubt, it's interesting reading all of your own interpretations.

    I guess it comes down to is, that whether we like it or not, we all have to face certain commitment at one point.

    Not committing is a commitment in itself...
  10. Long_Jon

    Long_Jon New Member

    I'm a very indecisive person so it takes me ages to come to any kind of conclusion. I weigh up all the options until my arms hurt. I blame my business studies teacher for her "yes because and no because" essay approach. Like when I got my A-Level results, didn't quite get in to my first choice of uni (Warwick) but they rang up and offered me an alternative course. I spent the weekend tearing my hair out trying to decide between that and the insurance choice.

    However once I've made a commitment I have no problems sticking to it.

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