Boy at 13 becomes father

Discussion in 'Humour and Debate' started by MrsNerdinator, Feb 13, 2009.

  1. A boy at the age of just 13 becomes a father.

    We've had an interesting debate about the Octuplets and the mother. I was just wondering what people thought of this situation. I was pretty gutted about it, to be honest. I'm shocked that the parents were okay with it..

    I dunno, I just don't know what to think right now. Just too much in a state of shock and wondering how this'll work :S
     
  2. Saffron

    Saffron Forum Spice

    Absolutely wrong on so many levels.
    Unbelievable.
    A person who gets "occasional pocket money" from his parents is suddenly responsible for the financial, emotional, physical, mental and spiritual upbringing of another person.
    It's ludicrous.
    Yet another case where society is likely to be responsible for that child's welfare.
     
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  3. jenni939706

    jenni939706 Twirl Princess

    :0 thats just like....so wrong. nuh uh....tsk, good idea to have a baby -_- yeah right. not at that age..no job. no home. hes still in school! goodness...you've got to be kidding..

    *wanders off*
     
  4. What's frustrating me is that they're saying that the boy wanted a baby. Well, loads of young kids do! I mean, I have a 14 year old nephew. Well, I have 9 nephews and nieces altogether. But this nephew of mine is an only child and absolutely loves children. For some odd reason, all my other nephews and nieces have loved him since birth (he is the eldest of them all too). He just has something about him. He looks forward to one day having a wife and having a big family. He knows it's wrong to even think about having a baby now, or even wanting a wife. He knows he's got to grow up, get an education, get maturer, etc.

    For me, the article came across as though the father was saying he's a great dad just because he was visiting them in hospital every day. Yeah that is nice.. but in the long run it doesn't say anything about how good a father he is or can be, especially since he hasn't (most probably) got the maturity to raise a child. No doubt, his parents and her parents are going to be the ones who will be financing it.. and even raising it.. while the boy gets his education and grows up!
     
  5. Vik

    Vik New Member

    I agree with Saffron.

    Way back in the 'olden days' it wasn't so unusual for children of 13 or 14 to marry, have kids etc. But back then, life expectancy was low, kids grew up pretty fast because they had to, and so they probably possessed the mental/emotional maturity. Financially I guess a lot of those kids came from wealthy families, or else they worked for a living. Infant mortality was really high, as was mortality in childbirth, and all kinds of STDs which would prevent you from having children - that means the earlier you started, the better.

    Nowadays, it's just different. Kids grow up a lot slower (if at all, lol) and are not expected to take on many responsibilities until they reach what we now define as adulthood. There is no biological or sociological need for people to have children as young as possible. It's one of these situations where just because you CAN do it, really really doesn't mean you should.

    I feel sorry for both the kids involved.
     
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  6. Saffron

    Saffron Forum Spice

    That sentence says it all really.
    And lol, "I must spread some reputation around before giving it to Vik again" - heh I tried to give you some ThumbsUp for your comments, Vik!
     
  7. jenni939706

    jenni939706 Twirl Princess

    I feel sorry for the child :( his parents would have a hard time taking care of him/her and they couldnt really give her the support a child needs if both of them are still in school.....

    tsk, and if we all went around doing things we can do just because we feel like it?...well....that would be just....scary XD
     
  8. Wow, Vik. That was a really good reply. I was thinking that, but was debating whether or not to post, lol.

    There is no doubt a huge difference in how society was back then to how it is now. Even my parents got married at a really young age. They weren't even 20 at the time. Much younger. But both my parents were brought up in the sort of environment where they had to no other choice but to become mature adults (who were children). Even way before they got married. The country and area that they came from meant that they couldn't have a "laid back" life like most people in the west do (as children). I don't mean that in a rude way. I"m talking about myself, even. I've heard the stories that my parents went through as children, and I have to say my life has been extremely easy in comparison.

    I'm sure there are still countries out there where children are having kids as young as 13, but it is uncommon in the UK and I have to say that a lot of the maturity thing is to do with the lifestyle that we're living. We see children here as being "children", where as in other countries (and it does tend to be more less developed countries), they're seen as having a bigger role in their families with more responsibilities on their list, etc. In less developed countries you still find that children at the age of 10, for example have the maturity and ability of that of someone who is 20, perhaps.
     
  9. Vik

    Vik New Member

    That's a great point, Nerdy.

    I forget easily that when I talk about 'people' what I really mean are 'the relatively small number of people who live in developed countries with the same or similar values that I take for granted in every day life'.

    There are still many, many countries and cultures that live in a way which I would consider old fashioned by western standards. We really are privileged in that we can look at a story like this and pass moral judgement - that's really a luxury.

    Thank-you for changing my perspective on that.
     
  10. *AJ*

    *AJ* New Member

    Holy cack on a stick! I was in the car and heard about this on the radio. The woman presenting the show said he looked eight and he does!! [​IMG]

    Wow. Just wow. Reasons like this are why I'm so anti shows like Skins. It seriously just shows youngsters that it's perfectly ok to go out and have sex when you like and with whoever you like. Fair enough these teens are doing their GCSEs and A level and are slightly older but they still don't deal with issues like promoting safe safe sex.
    Furthermore, they really do show a load of teens just sleeping about with anyone, whether it's just a "pick-me-up" or a drunken 'mistake' at someone's party.

    Whilst some people can argue "Oh but not all teens go out and have sex like wild bunnies like they show on tv" it does happen. The numbers are higher than you think and issues like this are being dealt with on (really rubbish) shows like the Jeremy Kyle show. I remember watching it once and a fifteen year old girl had basically become a prostitute and. These things start off someplace and are influenced by something so 'small' and 'innocent' and the next think you know the entire situations spiralled out of control.

    Someone called in on the radio show I was listening to and said this was a perfect example of "Broken Britain" and I couldn't agree more. Although they're probably not the majority, it's teens like this who represent Britain and who contribute to giving youngsters such a bad name. This problem doesn't just stop there either. At school judgements are made about teenagers because this has become a stereotype. These judgements are made by teachers and I know this for a fact because I have seen it with my own eyes.

    It's sad and disgusting.

    Edit: Seeing as Mr Horny is only thirteen, him and the mother will need benefits to look after this child. Money which the government is really tight with. I don't see why a kid who can't keep it in his pants is worth giving money to. There are so many people out there actually in need of benefits, income support and housing benefit but they don't receive it because of all the tedious failed paperwork and stupid policies which claim they're not eligible for the help and support they need. Instead it's being wasted on numpties like him who really have such little education.
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2009
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  11. Sorsie

    Sorsie New Member

    I just don't like that a kid his age is having sex... (in this society) o_O

    Urgh... it's just. so wrong on so many levels... I wish them the best of luck with all of this, but like... yeah... I just hope that baby is brought up well. I can't see why they would want a kid at that age... they're still so young... And like yeah... Ahhh when he's 18 his baby would be 6... O_O 6!!!!! Ahh... It's just yeah.
     
  12. storm

    storm Forum Tempest

    I think that's really taking it too far.

    I cannot believe the parents seem to be OK with this. It seems as if the boy doesn't know that this is not OK. There's no way he is mature enough to have a baby - "I thought it would be good to have a baby" must be the lamest excuse ever. As for this 15 year old girl...not heard much from her yet. I wonder how she's coping and what her parents reactions were.

    I find this shocking and depressing. >_<
     
  13. db1986

    db1986 Super Moderator

    Interesting topic.

    I agree with most of your opinions on this subject. As for television programmes such as Skins, they are only telling it like it is. This could have a bad influence on this subject, but unfortunately this sort of thing happens more and more to underage children. That's the way society is going nowadays.
    I also think that it is the child's parents' responsibility for not teaching parenting to the child. Then again, it is commonly regarded as being too early for that sort of development.

    The media doesn't help that much either. I feel that the way television and the Internet is "developing" these days it's getting easier for children to have easy access to related material. Shows like Jeremy Kyle are becoming much more popular because of the rise in these cases.

    Some people should have more respect for their country and not go for the easy way out of claiming a quick buck.

    Edit: If however, the parents can be decent parents and look after their baby well, then I hope it all works out for them.
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2009
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  14. *AJ*

    *AJ* New Member

    Wouldn't surprise me if the girl had post-natal depression (PND) and yeah, the boys parents don't appear to be annoyed at him or anything. It almost sounds like they're totally cool with the idea. "Hey son, when this one is at least a year and a half old, feel free to make another!" :rolleyes:

    He wasn't even a teen when he had sex so the baby was conceived when he was twelve. That's what really shocks me most. I actually feel sorry for that baby. She might have to grow up with at least one of her parents and neither are 'mature' to me.

    If you look at what was once described at third world countries, the less economically developed countries, kids are being raped from such a young age (babies too! :cry:) and are often getting AIDS thanks to it, yet here are these (barely) teens not giving a damn about what they could catch. It shows us the difference in moral values people share, or rather don't, around the world.

    Edit: Deebs, re: Skins and others like it such as HollyOaks, they may be telling/showing it like it is but if it was your child or you were the child, how would you react to your child's actions and how would you as a child be expected to be treated? Honestly, in Skins, which parents know or even gives a damn about what they're child is doing? And how many parents these days are becoming more and more like that? Fair enough it's a prenting issue but these shows are also showing kids "hey, my parents aren't in the know and this show (helps) prove it, I can go out and do what I want!". The matter at hand here isn't really parenting, it's the kids and how they get away with things and what influences them in takng that risk or being caught. If Alfie? didn't get that girl knocked up would his parents be aware of the fact that he was having sex? And what about the girl's mum? She only noticed after her stomach started looking a bit "swollen".
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2009
  15. db1986

    db1986 Super Moderator

    Some schools were thinking about lowering the age for sexual education. Purely due to cases like this, I think they should go for it.
     
  16. tgfcoder

    tgfcoder New Member

    I think I would literally die if I discovered that my 15 year old daughter had a swollen belly.
    And to think that my brother is 12. >_> I can just never imagine him growing up. Lol.

    Ugh. [​IMG]
     
  17. Sorsie

    Sorsie New Member

    Well, If I remember rightly (this was a long time ago) In switzerland and stuff, they get sex education very early...ish.. and they're rates are alot lower than ours. I think if kids are taught the morals and right and wrongs from the start then maybe we wont get stuff like this...

    But yeah... that would mean that the parents would need to help and some kids parents... well.. yeah.. -shrugs- If they are better than some of the parents out there, then atleast that's a start... lol

    Eh. I think sex education needs to be taken more seriously.. maybe at the age when kids aren't going through puberty as all their urges come out then or something... yeah.. eh. -shrugs-
     
  18. I dunno why, but I still struggle to see what good it'll do :/ They've been lowering it more and more as the years go by, and things have been getting worse.. so based on that alone, it appears that it's not actually "working". I can only see things getting far worse than they once were..

    I think one of the reasons are is because we're living a life of "luxury".. a lot of young kids don't know what it's like to earn good money through working on a farm for long hours, for example. Instead, if things go wrong and someone gets pregnant, then there is a system that supports it. There is no fear in sex these days. There is help for the child, the parents, etc, if they can't afford to bring it up themselves. Whereas, perhaps in other countries people would be too scared to have sex or even try for a baby that young because they're not entitled to such benefits in their countries, and it would mean a life of struggling, rather than "luxury".

    Edit: I agree, Sorsie. There are some countries that talk about sex education at an early age, and it does help. But I just can't seem to understand why it's not helping in the UK..
     
  19. storm

    storm Forum Tempest

    Bit of a vicious cycle, I think.

    I'm not sure that I agree.

    I think these cases are far and few between*. I don't think exposing children to sexual education at an early age (e.g. 12) will help them. For one, I do not think they have the emotional or intellectual maturity to comprehend what sex is. I think they are likely to perceive it as something gross and that will not really help them. My sister is 13 now and there is no way I want her to be learning about sex right now. I think 15/16 is a good time to start as they will start going through puberty and maturing and sexual education ties in well with that point in their lives. Too much, too soon is a bad idea, I think. I think kids like this boy and girl need to go get it sorted because I highly doubt (and hope) that they are not representative of the average 12 or 15 year old in Britain.

    *I don't have statistics so I don't know if they are on the rise and how steep the slope for this rise is.
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2009
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  20. *AJ*

    *AJ* New Member

    Dunno about anyone else here but the first sex education less I had was when I was.... ten. I'm in London, dunno if that seems "normal" or "right" to anyone here. I wasn't particularly intestered and I didn't see/feel the need for it.

    Ugh, now I'm just having really bad flashbacks of what happened at the time >_<..
    Ok so I never bunked school, never took days off and was never ill. One Thursday I decided I wasn't going school 'cause I felt a bit unwell. Like most kids, I was feel better a couple of hours later and I had the option to go to school in the afternoon but refused. I have clear memories of my sister asking me why was I "bunking/refusing to go to school" she even asked me if I was avoiding something.. o_O

    Anyway, the next day I went back to school and the school nurse (lol) tells me I've missed out on some very important education (*cringes*) and takes me to the medical room :)rolleyes:) to watch some video... on my own... :eek:

    A few reasons why I didn't agree with it: I wasn't interested, I didn't see the point of it at such a young age, my parents weren't informed of what I'd be studying and the way it was taught. This went on for a few Thursdays; more videos, more talks, more speeches, more immaturity and silly giggling.

    When it came to me actully needing to know stuff for myself, it didn't help and it's not like I remembered anything. It was a waste of time. And judging by reactions of kids in my class, it took away their innocence. On top off all this, my school was on open plan school, videos were watched as a class and anyone walking by could hear and see what you were watching. Not ideal in a primary school :rolleyes:

    Just my experience of things.
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2009
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